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Why I decided to ‘get help’ after giving birth


Why I decided to ‘get help’ after giving birth

If you’ve connected with me here for a while, or even spent a mere five minutes with me, you know that I’m a big believer in ‘getting help’… that is, leaning on someone else, or something else to support you, wherever and however you might need it.

When I needed support in my business, I worked with a biz coach. I also hired at VA and I outsourced the things I can’t do (or didn’t want to do) where possible.

When I needed support energetically and wanted to work spiritually in a new way I signed up to work with spiritual mentor and psychic, Belinda Davidson.

For labour I hired a Doula. For my health I see a naturopath, frequently. For my mind-body-soul wellbeing I see a kinesiologist, acupuncturist, masseuse etc (although, since becoming a mama I’ve not had the time to see my ‘A-Team’ as often as I like!)

So you get the picture right? I’ve waxed lyrical many times about the importance of having your own little power support posse. The team who is going to back you, heal you, guide you, hold you and let you lean on them when needed. We are talking holistically here, too.

Which means, it wouldn’t come as a surprise to you to hear that – after the cataclysmic event that is child birth, and the even more tremendous shift that is motherhood – I decided to get some more help.

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What help did I need? Well, let me flesh this out for you.

Imagine feeling all of this:

  • Constant tearfulness.
  • Emotional rollercoaster.
  • Feelings of inadequacy.
  • Insecurity, low self esteem and broken self confidence.
  • Fearfulness.
  • Anxiety and nervousness.
  • Energetically broken.
  • Overwhelmed.
  • Soaked in negativity.

Yep, this is everything I’ve felt in the first three months of new mamahood. I know I’m not alone in feeling this way… but nevertheless it became clear that I needed someone to help me navigate through the darkness.

There is the common ‘baby blues’ which a lot of mums get quite soon after the birth – and surprisingly I didn’t. That might have something to do with the Placenta tablets I was taking. And then there is Post Natal Depression, which a lot of women suffer with and unfortunately don’t feel comfortable to share. But there is a whole grey, blurry space in between the blues and post natal depression. I knew I fell into that blurry, smudged out space. I’ve heard it referenced as ‘Post Natal Depletion’.

I knew it wasn’t quite as simple as the hormonal shift that causes the blues, but I also knew that I wasn’t in the depths of full-blown post natal depression (PND). But I was feeling ‘something’… and that something wasn’t quite right.

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Now – as a little aside; when I say it wasn’t ‘right’ I really want to clarify here that every single experience and emotion that I’ve been feeling has happened for a reason. They’ve also taught me more than expected and have definitely delivered slivers and light, clarity… insight.

There is no such thing as a ‘wrong’ experience. Whatever cards you’ve been dealt with, well, they are exactly what the universe and the DIVINE plan etched into soul requires for you.

I just want to be clear here that when I say it ‘wasn’t right’… well, really, what I mean was it was all ‘different’. I was feeling different, destabilised, disjointed. And these only became a problem when I saw them through the lens of ‘wrong’…when I judged them as wrong they became wrong – get me?

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Which brings me back the help I knew I needed. As a Life + Wellness Coach I know the power in simply talking, opening up authentically, sharing and leaning into your experience and onto someone else and moving towards and into the energy you are feeling. There is not one (good!) coach out there that doesn’t believe in getting help when help is needed…and if they don’t well then they aren’t a coach/counsellor/psychologist/etc in my books.

With that in mind, one day in floods of tears as I sobbed in my mother’s arms, I looked up at her and said, ‘Mum, I don’t feel like me anymore. This doesn’t feel ‘right’’.

I had bravely decided to share the ‘off-ness’ of how I was feeling to my mum and I did so again to my sister. At first they balked and then tried to re-calibrate and re-frame; “Oh no honey, you are fine, just a new mum, it’ll pass”… they were just as afraid of PND as any new mum would be. However, it was not long after they, too, conceded that they could see a change in me that needed addressing. My courage in admitting how I was feeling allowed them to step forward and courageously admit it too.

There was one part of me that thought perhaps I could just ride through this storm of heavy, wearisome emotions until I found myself back to the Claire I knew I was. But the other part of me (the soul speaking through me) knew that this needed addressing. It was time to get some help.

As the universe would have it, I had already met the person who was going to be my guide many months ago. At the time she tweaked my interest – tugged at me without knowing why – and now I can see that it was already written in stone that we would come together again.

A brilliant psychologist that specialises in supporting women through transitions – particularly women through birth and into motherhood – happened to become very close friends with my sister and lived across the road from my parents and family home. So when the time came to get help myself, my mum and my sister all knew who had to help me ride through this storm.

As I write this, I’ve only had 3 of the 12 sessions I’ve booked in for. And already so much has changed… The first session we simply held space together as I sat cross legged on the floor – earthing. A huge emotional release unfolding… sobbing great big fat wet tears and I rocked back and forth holding my solar plexus chakra. No joke. That’s how huge this release was… since that first session my energy has been dramatically altered. I feel like I am slowly sewing myself back together.

What has unfolded already is bigger than I could have anticipated. Birth trauma (although I didn’t think it was ‘traumatic), healing the mother line, family dysfunction and my own ongoing journey of moving from the head to the heart.

I have to mention here as well that weekly white light sessions with Belinda Davidson (for me and baby Soleil) have been absolutely integral in this healing process.

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But why am I sharing all this deeply personal stuff with you? Especially when I’m still deep in the midst of it all? There are two reasons:

  • I want to lift the lid on any/all experiences that a new mother might be having
  • I want to encourage you, no matter what the circumstance is, to get help and support (new mother, break-up, wellness overhaul, biz coaching). There’s NO shame in reaching out and asking for someone to lean on, listen to you and hold your hand as you navigate…

To live authentically I have to share authentically. The way I teach is through my own experience… I have (no choice at all) to honour that at all times and in every way within my life – including this blog!

I’ve always been the listener/teacher/guider to my friends, oftentimes without them actually asking for it! Ha. It’s not always felt natural to talk through my problems to others… usually because I was already exploring and processing it for myself. Gently pulling it apart, feeling it, dissecting it… clarifying and refining it.

However, since my own soul infused wellness journey began all those years ago (you can learn more about my story in my ebook 17 Ways to Surrender for your best life yet!) I have come to truly value just how important it is to share and seek support. It’s not always possible to see the full picture for yourself and to ‘dissect’ your own journey with the right amount of objectivity and perceptiveness to crack through to the gold!

Sending you love and light, and all the help you might need,

Claire x



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