My personal revelations of Divine Love
Let me tell you a little story. My personal revelations of Divine Love
Everything you want and ever need you already have and are.
Ever since I first heard those words – I can’t remember where, maybe an article, a movie or some spiritual memoir I was reading at the time – I’ve made a conscious effort to live and breathe from this truth.
And that truth is that I don’t need to look outside of myself for all that my heart truly desires.
And what is it that my heart truly desires?
It’s taken me a long time to uncover this desire, to come to know it with clarity. At first I thought it was to feel good in my body. Then I thought it was for peace and quiet in my mind. Finally I believed this desire to be a longing for a passionate, purposeful life and career soon followed.
Each and every one of these ‘desires’ were necessary for my own spiritual development and growth… I braved the often-unmapped landscape into my body, my mind and my passions.
I peeled off layer after layer until I ‘had’ what I desired. A strong, healthy body, a quieter mind and peaceful attitude and a passion-filled life and career.
What I didn’t realise was this. These desires were a stepping to stone towards what my heart truly wanted. Each and every one was necessary in order to lead me to the core of all desires. The big kahuna of my desires – the one thing I truly want and need…
I desire to experience, feel and live from DIVINE LOVE.
I’ve experienced love on so many levels… the unconditional, almost martyr like love from my mother. The self-sacrificing, toil-through-pain devotional love from my father. Intoxicating love with a lover. Protective love from my siblings. Love shared between two friends – soul-sisters. Love, companionship and loyalty with my husband. And now the love I have for the soul that chose me and is now growing within me.
Each and every experience feels just as it should – soothing, satisfying, needed. Like a warm embrace. A net of safety. A moment of bliss.
But it is only a small slice – a too-small portion to taste – of DIVINE, INFINITE LOVE.
And it is this Divine Love that I truly ache for. Yearn for. Believe in. Strive to taste and touch and experience. Don’t let me fool you, I am to this very moment, still opening my arms and my eyes to this divine love. To say I live from and with divine love everyday is something I’ve yet to embody. I’m still on the hunt – a surrendered, accepting search for love.
There are two key moments recently that have sign-posted me towards where this Divine Love is that I seek. Two revelations I want to share with you.
The first is from a conversation with my Mother. A woman of such faith and a source of wisdom and love who recently highlighted that where I have placed my attention was a little misguided.
My mother’s unrelenting devotion to her saints, prophets and religious figures is a love born from her heart. And it is in the deep well of her heart that she still connects to their love.
My mother doesn’t see Jesus, Mary or her God as something outside of her. Well she does, in a way. But first they are within her and then they are without. They are with her, in her heart, they live there, eternally and internally. They also reside in the universe above, below and all around her. They are the universe. But in order to connect with them and their love she looks within.
It is her innate understanding that the representations of love that she connects with are accessible from within that changed everything for me. When she calls on the Virgin Mary she does so knowing that Mary is within her – her love and light shine from within as opposed to an omnipresent, ethereal and inaccessible mystical being.
Following this golden nugget of wisdom delivered to me from my beautiful mother, I had a personal encounter with the Divine that only served to reaffirm this epiphany. I was at a retreat focused on exploring Oneness. Being one with the universe, with each other and with the all-powerful infinite, higher source.
One morning, during an hour-long meditation, I found myself as if in a bubble… but the bubble was within me. I felt protected yet at the same time fully able to think, feel, experience – if I wanted too. I felt safe, caressed, nurtured. Yet fully present in my body and fully away of the world and life I was in. Each breath that entered my body felt embodied… I felt as if I was the breath – the pranic life force and I, as the breath, was choosing to enter and leave the body, moment by moment. The breath felt to me more ‘me’ than my body did in that moment. Yet simultaneously, I was grounded in my body and in full realisation that what I was feeling wasn’t possible without my body.
My hands felt glued to my lap yet light and floaty. My palms, although they were facing up and lightly stacked above each other, actually felt splayed and opened on each knee. As I sat there, being ‘inhaled’ by the breath of life, I felt quite strongly that my hands were being held – hand to hand – by a pair of invisible hands.
My own hands were being held by my soul’s hands. I was held. I was reassured. I knew I was not alone.
Eventually the guide’s voice slowly cut through the lightness of my meditation. As I was slowly ushered back to reconnect into the confines of my body and into the space we were in a quiet sob escaped from deep within. It moved up from my belly, into my heart and out through my throat. Wave after wave of deep, earth-shaking sobs rocked through my body. Tears waterfalled down my face like a monsoon shower in the tropics. It felt irrationally good. Freedom and relief washed over me with each sob that vibrated through me.
Simultaneously I felt a longing to return to where I had been and who I was with. I felt buzzed with a joy and love I had never felt before. My heart, literally ached with love yet also despaired that I was leaving the space I was in. Furthermore, the realisation that I had never before connected to that inner space of love – never allowed myself to be held by the infinite well of love within me (not without!) – left me feeling heartbroken.
The truth dropped in – I had spent the better part of an hour embraced in DIVINE LOVE. This was almost too much for my limited mind and human body to bare. I had spent the better part of an hour with myself – my divine soul – this truly rocked me. The love I had been searching for was living within me. In fact, what I learned that day was that this love was and still is me.
The love I want to experience, live from and yearn for – all I ever want and need – is a divine love I already have and am.
Living from the truth that my heart’s desire, which is to experience DIVINE LOVE, is not something I must yearn for but simply choose to reconnect with has become a daily practice.
A simple reminder to look within for whatever I want and need – the love of my own soul will never leave me because I am love. They cannot be separated.
And when I say ‘I am love’ know that the same applies to you. We are all one and the same. Born from the same higher, collective power of love. The love that resides within me, is the same love within you.
You are love. And don’t you forget it!
Love + light,
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