One hour at a time.
One hour at a time.
One minute, even; down to the second.
No tomorrow. Yesterday is no more. Today. This hour.
This is my life at the moment.
It (everything) has boiled down to the present moment.
And no other moment is relevant.
What happened yesterday, be it good, bad or otherwise, has absolutely no marking or influence on how today might shape up. Or the next week or month.
This is the great lesson my tiny, wise guru (aka Soleil my 4 month old bub) is teaching me.
And my god, doesn’t it suck!
You weren’t expecting that right? Thought I’d talk about how wonderfully liberating and joyful living in the NOW is?
Well, that is partially true. One half of the coin.
The other ‘truth’ is that it’s the most challenging spiritual assignment to date.
Because controlling and planning your life feels SAFE. It’s predictable. It’s mapped out. It provides a big old safety net (although often ridden with unseen holes to slip through).
When you are living in that state of thinking/planning/controlling/structuring, it doesn’t actually FEEL good, but it does give you a false sense of security.
So, this lesson that I (and most likely every mother out there) am learning is stripping away that fakery, peeling back the security that’s not real, anyway, and dumping all that control.
Even as I write this to you, I’ve had to stop/start multiple times to sing, smile, cuddle, nurse, pat, shush and snooze my little one.
Her needs are in the NOW. She doesn’t care about this email, or my coaching, or my plans for the future. She cares about right-freaking-now.
So each week, I battle with those fears as my ego-mind seeks out that space of control again… yearns and hungers for it…BEGS me to go back into that space of past perception and future projection. It WANTS me to trip out and get doped out on that thinking/planning/controlling/structuring stuff.
But – and you know this to be true from your own life, mama or not – those fears do not bring good. Those fears do not lift you up, or solve problems, or answer questions or give you a way through; they just laden you up with the tell-tale markers that come with fear: anxiety, stress, edginess, frustration, disillusion, insecurity and fill-in-the-blank here with your own ‘fear symptom’.
So the answer?
Come back to the now. Come back to this minute, this hour.
Focus on the side of the coin where living hour by hour is your saving grace, where the now is your life-line, the space that feels doable, manageable and maybe a hell of a lot more kinder to yourself.
Don’t fret over tomorrow, because it won’t be how you think it might/should/could be. Don’t even fuss over this afternoon. It might unexpectedly surprise/delight/inspire you. Just get through your day, hour by hour.
When everything is golden, then you get to savour EACH HOUR.
When everything is not-so-shiny, then you get to stay OUT of that space that threatens you with the undigestible fear that it might be like this ‘forever’.
So let’s do it. One hour at a time. That is it. That is all.
love + light,
P.s If you want some help getting present, head on over to my shop page and get your fix with my Reveal Your Inner Radiance (mini) meditations.
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