When inspiration doesn’t show up
I’m sitting here with the best of intentions – to write you a blog post this week that will serve you in some way.
I want to always authentically share with you my own personal journey through life, as it unfolds, and the lessons I garner from it all.
But today, I’m sorry to say, inspiration has not shown up. I don’t have anything to offer today. It’s ok, I understand if you want to stop reading here…
Maybe inspiration has ditched me because I’m a little brain dead – I was awake for hours last night soothing my little one. Or maybe it’s the full moon (apologies beautiful luna, I do blame you for a lot!)…
Or maybe, inspiration just isn’t playing ball for no particular reason, just because.
So this is how it plays out in my mind. My ever faithful, slightly bossy, definitely controlling left brain kicks in and says;
“Think Claire, think! Surely you’ve got something to share. Surely there is a juicy blog post idea saved in your evernote! You can’t deliver NOTHING!”
And for a few moments I am completely sucked into this energy of force and control.
Why? Because I don’t want to let you down.
And because producing something might make me feel like I’ve accomplished something (other than managing countless number of tantrums and successfully getting out of the house without egg on my face, literally… #mumlife).
Or maybe I buy into that left-brain, masculine energy of ACTION because I want to feel worthy, good enough.
Here’s the shift though. The more I connect to that energy the more I start to feel… closed. Contracted. Wound up.
Tension builds when I’m trying to force something that is not in flow…
When I push against what I’m intuitively feeling then it starts to feel abrasive. Sandpaper grazes against a brick wall.
Thankfully, gratefully, I’ve made it one of my life lessons to pay attention to the way something FEELS and move forward from there.
So this is where I’m at…
I’ve felt that abrasion. I’ve also felt the disappointment too that I’m not feeling ‘inspired’ to share something of value. I’m in a state of awareness. Here I move into experimentation mode.
I ask myself; What would it feel like if I tuned into the energy, the feelings, the undercurrent beneath this ‘lack of inspiration’… let’s just try that on for size.
So I do. I feel into that ‘lack’. I feel into what is hiding beneath the uninspired me and I can see it’s nothing to be frustrated with, or annoyed at. It’s just different. And it needs to be honoured. It’s but a moment in time that will flow on by if I allow it to be here now.
With that, I embrace what I’m feeling. I accept that there is ‘no inspiration’ and I’m feeling almost empty inside, void of creativity. But I open to it… and I even start to like it. This space of ‘nothingness…’
And guess what happens? I write something, THIS particular something that you’re reading right now, actually. And as I read over it I realise that it’s these words, precisely, that I needed to write and share with you.
This is how I’m supposed to serve you today.
By allowing myself to be ok when inspiration doesn’t show up, and to let go of the need to force and make it happen the result is an open sharing to you. In turn that becomes an open invitation to you to be not only be OK with but to fully embrace those days when inspiration (or joy, creativity, love, action, focus, motivation) doesn’t show up for you.
When we accept what is, we create spaciousness around the very thing that feels contracted, closed-off and shut off from ourselves. It’s in the space that we invite flow back in and end up washing away whatever is standing in the way.
Love + light,