GET COMFORTABLE WITH UNCERTAINTY
As much as we’d like it to be different, there is no way we can ever feel certain about anything. Ever.
There is no amount of planning, focus, controlling or even praying that can assure you that everything will always be perfect.
Recently, feelings of uncertainty have been testing me in so many different areas of my life. I’ve been presented with countless situations where that vulnerable feeling of uncertainty has reared up. In the past I would nose-dive into that uncertainty. Wrapping myself in it like a dark, suffocating coat. Today, something is different. Something has changed in the way I face and participate in uncertainty.
Surprisingly I’ve become overwhelmingly grateful for these moments of uncertainty because they are little red flags, shooting up to show my how incredibly attached I can be to certainty… Something that is impossible.
What does uncertainty mean?
The unknown. Risk. Vulnerability. Fear. Exposure. Unsure. Insecure. Unpredictable. Uncontrollable.
Uncertainty makes us feel weak and vulnerable. We have no idea what is going to happen next from our career, our relationships and even our health. You can do your best to line up all your ducks in a row, but you still don’t know if there will be one rogue duckling that refuses to stay in line! Uncertainty presents itself frequently throughout our day, but it’s how we choose to respond to it that truly matters. Most of the time we go into overdrive – controlling, planning, creating structure, searching for solutions, trying to safeguard ourselves from risk.
When we feel vulnerable we control!
We force square pegs into round holes, we structure our day to the last minute, we cover off all bases. We think, with our limited self-sabotaging ego mind, that if we control it all enough that we will be ok. But what does ‘OK’ look like? When you get to ‘OK’ does it feel as good as you had imagined, or have you simply just moved the goal post in search of something else – bigger, better?
The truth of the matter is that there is only ONE thing we know for certain… This very moment. When we are in the here and the now, it not only happens to be the only thing that exists but it’s also the only certain thing we’ve got.
Certainty holds you back
We can try and control the uncontrollable by looking for security and predictability. This means that sometimes we sell ourselves short from completely and fully experiencing life, in the way we deserve, because it feels safer to stay in that secure territory. We are always hoping to be comfortable and safe.
Not knowing is part of the adventure, but it’s also what causes so much deep fear. When we choose the safe route and comfortable option we are saying yes to fear. We are saying that life from the space of fear, which might be safe and secure, is a better option than life from love – uncertain, rich, messy, alive, real, raw, vulnerable but FULL.
Get comfortable with uncertainty
- Look at it: what are you so uncertain about?
- Identify your why: why do you feel the need to control this particular thing?
- Be honest: how does it make you feel knowing that this particular thing is uncertain, with no concrete answer/solution/outcome?
- Be with it: sit with it and the truth of it. Become familiar with it, get cosy with it.
- Name it: name your fear – be clear about what it is
- Keep connecting to your truth: look beyond what that uncertainty is about and remember who you really are.
- Disconnect from what you are NOT: you are not the uncertainty or the thing that makes you feel that way. Let go of the uncertain.
- Embrace the unknown: cultivate trust that despite the fact that you don’t ‘know’, there is a part of you that will always know everything is ok!
- Be curious: Replace the uncertainty with a gorgeous curiosity. Be fascinated by life – by the unknown.
Be willing to rest in the uncertainty of the present moment. Be willing, over and over again.
After all, if you can accept that you can’t control everything, then life is going to flow with so much more ease. Why force something that cannot be tamed?
Share with me:
How does uncertainty make you feel?
Are there many areas of your life that you experience feelings of insecurity?
What are you trying to control and why?
Love + light,
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