One Woke Mama – Episode 045 – Our children don’t need us to save them, they need us to save ourselves

One Woke Mama – The journey of awakening through motherhood

One Woke Mama – Episode 045 – Our children don’t need us to save them, they need us to save ourselves

I’m in a season of deep learning. Over a year ago I attended workshop, on a whim, with a woman named Nancy Valentine. It was a little different to what I was used to, but yet at the same time I was profoundly comfortable in the space. Nancy activates energies, calls on magical beings and works with different realms in a way I can’t really describe. I remember feeling incredibly grounded at this event. And that I was receiving something, very gentle, that I was absolutely meant to.

Following that workshop, literally the next day, a big light bulb went off. I ended up enrolling in not ONE but three trainings on Trauma, Somatic Healing and furthering my EFT skills.

And since there, I have been in a BIG cycle of unleveling. On a cognitive, intellectual plane – there has been so much study! But also there has been a huge upgrade process on an emotional, energetic and spiritual plane.

This year alone I have completed a breath work training, I have in the middle of a Mary Magdalene and Rose Teaching Online Retreat. I am part of an Embodied Leadership Mastermind and soon I begin an Embodied Transformaton 5 month training with some of the world’s leading somatic therapists, neuroscience geeks, embodiment experts.

I can’t get enough of podcasts, energy healing sessions, sacred ceremonies, my own personal healing work. I’m blessed to be surrounded by soul sisters who willingly and intuitively contact me with healing they’ve downloaded for me. I’ve had mentors and guides on my journey who have contributed to my own awakening and growth in such profound ways and still do!

I’m not sharing ANY of this to gloat. This cycle is the other side of what felt like overwhelming stagnancy for many years, in fact from when I first birthed my daughter and myself a as a mother. There wasn’t much time and space for anything else. And truthfully, I was not MEANT to deep dive into ANYTHING other than being IN motherhood, being in the lessons of motherhood. Sitting in the shadows and inner child wounds that came forth through motherhood. Birthing myself as a WOMAN and Mother was all consuming. And still is.

This cyclee I am in now is just freaking YUM. Because I’m ready for it. And it’s part of what feels like a reshaping. A slow burning over the embers of life, scorching me and forging me. Alchemising who I am now into who I am becoming. No small, thing, right!

It’ll end. Soon. Presently, though, this pandemic has provided me with the inner space to go hell for leather with this season of deep learning and growth. I’m just feeling so blessed and in love with life and all it has to offer right now.

So why the heck am I sharing all of this?

Well, in amongst all this learning has been one thread I want to share with you.

It began during mentorship with Maryanne Sea (please check out the two previous chats I’ve done with this incredible woman). One element of my growth with her – specifically centred on my soul embodiment here in this human vessel – revolved around the dynamic between myself and Soleil (Rafael too, but for brevity sake I’ll focus just on little S). We were clashing. I was struggling to enjoy our relationship. I felt triggered by her, disconnected at times and simply overwhelmed.

In one of our sessions Maryanne tuned into Soleil and received, what was at the time quick a shocking message, yet also incredibly authentic and felt true in my heart.

Soleil made it very clear that she felt suffocated by my attempts to be everything to her, to hold her through life, to provide her with the support and love she needed. She wanted me to back off.

Let me be clear here, this is all energetic. I was not literally suffocating her, or being in her face. But energetically she could sense my clinging to her – out of fear of not doing right by her. Of hurting her, or not providing the emotional support she needed. And her beautiful soul was asking me to step back. To loosen that energetic grip.

In fact both her and Rafael sent this message through. “Mama, you do you. Look after you. Put yourself first. Worry about YOU and in doing that, we are OK. We are good. We will get what we need”

Let that land. Do you first.

Recently, I was listening to this AMAZING chat with Brene Brown and Glennon Doyle (MSUT LISTEN!) and Glennon summarised this in one perfect line:

“Our children don’t need us to save them. They need us to save ourselves”.

THAT is how they learn how to be in this world and how to be their full, authentic selves.

  • You want your children to be resilience? Be resilient within yourself.
  • You want your children to embody self worth? Embody worthiness within yourself.
  • You want your children to experience love? Love yourself.
  • You want your children to feel supported? Support yourself.
  • You want your children to know how to follow their truth? Follow yours. 
  • You want your children to know they are deeply cared for? Care for yourself.

So that’s what I’ve done. I’ve put my needs back up on the top of the pile. I’ve prioritised my self care. I’ve been unapologetic about the work I want to do in the world, about the time I need to go inward, about the space I need to breathe, about the love I feel for myself. I’ve owned it all. And our relationship has become deeper, richer, more profound.

The channel of love between myself and my children is WIDE OPEN and buzzing with vibrancy.


Listen to Episode 045

Show notes:

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Podcast Episode: Unlocking Us with Brene Brown: Glennon Doyle and Brene Brown on Untamed


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Beautiful one, thank you for being here and listening. It would mean the world to me if you would hit subscribe and stay connected to One Woke Mama – join me on this journey of awakening. Your feedback, comments, reviews and shares would always be gratefully received but also help us to reach more mamas who need support as they navigate the choppy waters of motherhood and all it asks of us. Love + light, Claire


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