One Woke Mama – The journey of awakening through motherhood
One Woke Mama – Episode 022 – The Inner voice of fear and worry with Rachel MacDonald
I’m so thrilled to share this conversation with you. Rachel MacDonald, Blog Coach, Creative, Entrepreneur, Mama and beautiful soul sister of mine opens up and shares her personal experience with the inner-worrier mind.
She offers some super powerful yet simple ways to move through. I hope you love this chat as much as I do and soak up the wisdom, the story-telling and guidance with an open heart and mind.
Together Rachel and I explore the inner voice of fear and worry that seems to be part and parcel with motherhood.
It’s normal mamas, but we do need to create space and clear out the obsessive thoughts and rebalance that worrier mind into a more calm, trusting and peace-filled state.
As mamas one of the challenges we face is the intensity of worry, anxiety and over-analysing.
All of a sudden there are so many elements that we need to juggle and be aware of. Is the baby too cold, or too hot? When should I start solids? How much should I feed my baby? Is my milk supply ok? Is it ok to give formula? Why are the neighbours being so loud? What if she wakes again?…
The list goes on. Constantly thinking of and caring for another human being requires alot of awareness, education, preparation and intuition. And the headiness of it all can create stress and exhaustion.
I remember in the first 6 months of Soleil’s life, before I finally started to feel more confident and capable I felt like there were thousands of voices – usually critically, hyper-stressed and on high alert – telling me what to do, worrying about what I’d done or throwing a decent helping of guilt and judgment into the mix.
IT WAS EXHAUSTING.
I felt so disconnected from my centre, my truth, my intuition that I tended to listen to these dialled up voices. They practically screamed at me.
It wasn’t lost to me how different this experience was compared to life before baby. I hadn’t felt this anxious and stuck in my head for years. In fact, I became a Life + Wellness Coach after healing my own anxiety and depression which led me to a very unhealthy and unhappy life. So I could see I was sliding back into old habits and patterns.
My husband, family, friends could all see that I wasn’t myself. Of course, we all change so dramatically when we give birth and instantly become mamas, but something felt ‘broken’ within me and I could see, clearly, that I needed to find my way back to centre.
I have to say mamas, something that truly helped was ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. Being real with myself about what I was thinking of feeling (fear, worry, vigilance, irrational thoughts) made a huge difference in creating a difference.
I started by journaling. These entries were quite dark to be honest. But I allowed them to be without trying to ‘fix’ the shadowy thoughts from within.
I SIMPLY LET WHAT I WAS FEELING, THINKING AND EXPERIENCING BE PRESENT.
In doing so I slowly began asking myself questions;
- What would I like to think and feel instead?
- How would it make me feel to be calmer and more at peace?
- What needs to change for this inner voice of fear and worry to quieten?
I can’t say that instantly, overnight the intensity of that inner voice diminished, but I can say that my awareness shattered the bubble – the idea that I was captivate to these thoughts and couldn’t live any other way than INSIDE them.
Coupled with meditation and verbally sharing how I was feeling to my family, well the shift DID start to happen.
The final ‘cherry’ on top (that delivered a powerful transformation in the way I was thinking) was the psychologist I saw. The universe always provides when we are open to receiving. And I certainly was open to receiving help. My sister was close friends and neighbour to an incredible psychologist (email me if you’d like her details) who specialises in women in the post-natal phase. No word of a lie, our very first sessions was powerful and led to a huge energetic and emotional detox. I remember sitting, cross legged on the floor SOBBING as the fear, stress and worry rose up and out of me.
IT WAS THESE THREE THINGS – ACKNOWLEDGMENT, MEDITATION AND PROFESSIONAL GUIDANCE – THAT HELPED ME BREAK THESE PATTERNS OF FEAR AND WORRY. AND TIME.
Gorgeous mama. Everything you are thinking and feeling is NORMAL. But ask yourself this – does it feel good to be constantly stressed, filled with fear and worry? Does it serve you, positively, as a mama? Does it support your children? If the answer is NO then let’s create the change that you need. It doesn’t have to be in the way I did it, but we have to do something. You deserve more peace.
Listen to Episode 022:
Beautiful one, thank you for being here and listening. It would mean the world to me if you would hit subscribe and stay connected to One Woke Mama – join me on this journey of awakening. Your feedback, comments, reviews and shares would always be gratefully received but also help us to reach more mamas who need support as they navigate the choppy waters of motherhood and all it asks of us.
Love + light,