The story of Soleil…
The story of Soleil…
My little light beam, my daughter – Soleil Margarita Rivera – was born on the 5th of March 2015 at 6:43pm after what can only be described as an EPIC birth at lightening speed.
But before I share with you my very personal and precious birth story I want to dial back a little to the beginning. Soleil is an earth angel that has been with me (energetically) for many years before she actually graced this earthly plane.
Let’s start some 18 years ago.
Yes, that’s how very long ago this love story began. This is the story of Soleil and how she came into my world.
This story is also about signs. Noticing the little winks and directions from the universe. It’s about trusting in something you can’t see or confirm in anyway. It’s all about following your intuition.
So, back we go, 18 years…I can’t remember why but I remember one morning, dressed in my bonds chesty singlet and pyjama shorts (standard sleepwear for my 15 year old self), I entered the kitchen and sat down. My mum was there… I looked up at her and said “Mum, I don’t know why but I think one day I’m going to have a little girl, and her name is going to be Soleil.”
My Mum, who speaks French, knew immediately that Soleil meant Sun. And she too, in that moment, felt what I felt – that I was speaking a truth from an unknown source of wisdom. I remember her saying… “Oh that is beautiful. Your little sunshine. Of course you will. Inshallah (God’s will).”
So there she was. Little Soleil had shown up, just like that, and made a home within my heart. And the idea that she would one day be in my life… well, I felt and believed this to my core. I trusted in this so much so that on my very first date with Chris, right after I realised that I would be marrying this man one day (I knew this in the same way I knew that Tuesday follows Monday) I shared with him about my unborn daughter, Soleil. And, no he didn’t freak out (tick!)
Fast forward 7 years.
I was 22 and travelling in Thailand and I wanted to get a tattoo… flicking through a book of tattoo suggestions in a bamboo shack on a remote beach, I remember thinking that the Sun and the Ocean were two of my greatest loves. As I thought that I glanced down and saw a word, written in Arabic Script (a touchstone to my heritage), with the translation written underneath – that word was ‘Soleil’… I decided on that tattoo instantly.
Jump forward again to age 32…
Chris, my husband, and I were celebrating our wedding with a belated honeymoon in Thailand. We had loosely discussed that starting a family might be on the cards soon, but we both still felt nervous about jumping in… As if we had any control over what the universe was dishing up for us?!
Within a few days of our trip I noticed my period was late. After taking a test it was confirmed that yes, we truly have NO control. A little bub had found its way into my body and into our lives. As we walked the beach trying to process this HUGE change in our lives we glanced up and saw a restaurant (that we had passed countless times and never noticed) named Soleil.
Chris and I both got goosebumps – the usual way my intuition tweaks like a puppy dogs ears, pricking up to a distant unheard sound.
To drive the message home, that evening, at dinner, we sat near a German family – two little girls ran around in circles. The eldest calling out to her sister to follow her…. ‘Soleil, Soleil!” And this was on the very same where I first had that tattoo done.
I couldn’t quite believe I was hearing this – a name I’d never heard before was now being sang around me… two little girls once again hammering the point home, that Soleil had decided now was the time.
As the pregnancy progressed I was ambushed (lovingly) with people’s opinions – It’s a boy, you’re carrying like a boy! Often other people’s intuition was so strong that it swayed me… including my husband who insisted it was a boy! So I started to wonder – am I having a boy? Could Soleil be taking a little longer to show up?
But every time I would go off track a little signpost would redirect me back home to the truth…
One day I was handed a gift from a family friend, filled with boy’s clothes. The bag they were in? A Cirque du Soleil bag.
The day before I went into labour, Chris and I went for a spectacular sunrise walk on the beach. As I watched the fiery, bold, powerful sun rise over the ocean I couldn’t hold back the tears… as I realised my own Soleil was rising up, and getting ready to beam her light into my heart.
I asked for the universe to send me a sign – to show me a Lady Bug (in the flesh, a picture, drawing, whatever!)
And the signs kept coming…I had written in my journal, asking the universe to send a sign that Soleil was coming. I asked for two clear signs – anything fish related (as I was certain the baby was to be born a Pisces) and Ladybugs!
One beautiful Sunday when I went to meet a friend, a Lady Bug flew at me and landed on my arm. This same friend had also told me she’d had a premonition it was a girl.
That night as Chris walked into the kitchen I heard, “Claire, come here….” and there she was again, another ladybug sitting on the wall.
My doula was in a bookstore and happened upon a random book with a HUGE picture of a ladybug.
The day I went into labour, the same friend (Connie Chapman) had a lady bug come to her personally, to tell her this baby was on the way!
And the fishes…Well, I was swimming daily at my local beach and one day – when I was feeling so incredibly grateful and high on life – I was surrounded by a HUGE school of tiny, silvery blue fish. They literally encircled me, the sunlight bouncing off them, creating this stunning blue sparkle.
So, my little sunshine, my little Soleil was sending me message after message, reminding me of the pact we had created some 18 years ago: that I would be her mama and she would be my heart, my everything.
After all, the world revolves around the sun, and little Soleil, in all her tiny innocence, has certainly got my world revolving around her! She is a sensitive little being, with a clued up intelligence that is a little freaky… but I just know she hasn’t revealed her full, glowing glory just yet. But from what I know already she’s definitely got the fire, warmth, intensity and power that the sun does.
Stay tuned for my next update where I’ll share our birth story.
Love + Light,