Swap comparison for creativity + authenticity
Comparison + Competition. An ugly energy to feel and carry with you. And the sad thing? Most of us experience the life-sapping, joy-stealing energy of comparison way too often!
At this time of year I find that the cogs are turning, the wheels are in full motion. All guns blazing. By the time March rolls around I SEE that, collectively, we are all sinking our teeth into our dreams and desires. Which, honestly, makes me light up.
How incredible to witness so many people doing whatever they can to transform, grow, stretch, expand… and ultimately SOAR.
Personally, I’m there with you. I’m working with a business coach, doing the incredible Bright-Eyed and Bloghearted ecourse with Rachel MacDonald. I’m also doing the School of The Modern Mystic with Belinda Davidson (level 1 and 2) AND at the same time blogging, coaching, writing and refreshing my website behind the scenes.
Epic right? Incredible. I’m living so many of my core-desired feelings – Devoted, Connected, Inspired – that I know are going to lead me into the other feelings I want to embody: Bliss, Light and Freedom!
It’s an exciting time, but let’s get real, sometimes when we over-commit and we jump on board so many incredible courses/programs/events/experiences/challenges we often back ourselves into the corner of overwhelm. Often, we over-commit because we don’t want to miss out on what everyone else is doing (FOMO!) Or we genuinely commit because we have a call too, but then we start measuring ourselves against everyone else – how they are doing it, what results they are getting, where they are at.
And then what happens? Comparison and Competition shows up. Ugly, brooding, heavy… and here to teach us a lesson!
We start to feel:
- Held back
- Not good enough
- Missing out
- Getting nowhere
Sound familiar? Ahuh!
Today, I wanted to share with some content from The Freedom Project ecourse. The lesson is a powerfully supportive tool in bringing Comparison + Competition into the light, drawn from the shadows, and then ready to be released into the wild.
COMPARISON STEALS YOUR JOY
Comparison and competition are the big guns in The Ego’s arsenal. The Ego loves to play with us – building us up or tearing us down and this really comes through when we are in that deeply unnerving state of comparison + competition.
Comparison + Competition also strongly relates to the idea that we are ‘separate’ from each other and from the universe. It’s that ‘me against the world’ mentality. You probably already know how to ‘detect’ how and when comparison and competition sneaks into your life… and if you don’t, we are going to find out together!
Comparison + Competition: It consumes us, it drives us to do and say things that we don’t want and it also feels like a bad rash we can’t get rid of.
As Brene Brown puts it: “Comparison is this crushing paradox of ‘fit in and stand-out!”. We must be like everyone else, but better.
No wonder we are weighed by comparison + competition. It’s hard to be our authentic self when we are trying to be like everyone else AND at the same time trying to out-do others – because if we don’t then we aren’t good enough.
I won’t lie, this is uncomfortable – looking at Comparison + Competition – but we need to get real with it. You with me?
It’s time to look deeper and further than we might normally like so to we can easily see ourselves in comparison mode.
LESSON ONE: IDENTIFY COMPARISON AND COMPETITION
Step 1: Right out how you FEEL when you are in comparison mode.
Journal it out. Let all those heavy feelings spew forth! And, as you do this examples might start to pop into your head. Make sure you jot them down too!
Step 2: Witness where and how you are measuring yourself against others. Just observe. Become aware.
Step 3: Explore the limiting beliefs that are underlying and carrying the energy of comparison and competition. What is DRIVING that feeling of comparison and competition?
To help you discover what’s really going on please use the ‘tree tool’ below.
Imagine a tree – complete from root system to leaves. Different parts of the tree represent different elements of comparison/competition that you are experiencing. Use this ‘tree’ to dig deep
Leaves – Symptoms: What are the symptoms you are experiencing because of comparison/competition?
Branches – Emotions: What emotions are you experiencing because of comparison/competition?
Tree Trunk – Events: What are the specific events related to this?
Tree Root – Beliefs: What are the limiting self-beliefs and fears that live below and carry all of the above!
Love note: Return to the truth.
Once you’ve done the above, I’m sure you are asking ‘Now what?’ Fair question. And here’s my answer: RETURN TO THE TRUTH of who you truly are.
You are not your fears. You are not your negative, restrictive, limiting thoughts. You are love, light, freedom. You are more than enough. You are divine.
Remind yourself this over and over and over. In doing you will be able to keep your eyes on your journey, and no one else’s. Instead of noticing if someone is ahead, behind or on par with you (Egoic games of credit/blame, build up/tear down!) try to drop the attachment to the meaning of words such as ‘better, worse, ahead, behind’ and just be completely present and accepting of where you are.
LESSON TWO: SWAP COMPARISON FOR CREATIVITY
Letting go of the attitude and behavioural pattern of comparison is about cultivating authenticity and creativity – being comfortable to stand as you are without conforming or competing or comparing. You are unlike no other. You are you. Nothing can replicate that.
Creativity is expression. It’s not about ‘achieving and accomplishing’, but more about bringing to life your self and expressing your truth through form. Creativity is no longer about conforming, fitting in and competing but instead about valuing your authentic self and your originality.
This cannot be compared.
For this exercise simply freestyle it. Write it out from your heart! Here are some Qs to help you on your way.
- What would it feel like to be without comparison + competition?
- What would you do if you were unrestrained by the big C+C?
- What would ‘being and living’ authentically look like to you?
- Who are you? Truly?
- What makes you unique? What are your quirks?
- What do you desire?
- Why don’t you own your authentic self? What’s standing in the way?
- What makes your heart sing?
- What is creativity to you? Describe it!
- How can you invite more creativity into your life?
- Where in your life are you already ‘creating’?
Love note: Serenade + bring joy!
Make a point of serenading the success, achievements, unique talents, abilities and creations of other people. A great cure for comparisonitis is to notice the beautiful gifts of other people, those around you who perhaps you are comparing yourself to – instead of fixating on what you don’t have, focus on applauding them (genuinely please!) and not buying into the egoic energy of comparison. You are better than that. Oh and in doing so you may find it’s easier to serenade yourself. Win-win.
Juicy stuff. So much goodness will pour forth if you take the time to dig a little deeper.
If you are keen to have a go at these exercises CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD A PDF DOC for quick reference. These are the kind of exercises that I prefer to write into a book/journal, rather than typing up answers.
Your turn: Can you finish this sentence: *Comparison + Competition in my body feels like….*
Please feel free to share below what you discover or any thoughts you already have on the joy-stealing energy of comparison!
love + light,