Speaking the right love language
Speaking the right love language is saving my marriage
Ok, so that’s a bit dramatic. We aren’t even close to splitting up, but let’s just say this; if we had let things continue as they were, it would’ve eventually become a slippery slide ride into splitsville.
Sleep deprivation. Busy lives. Work pressures. Zero alone time.
That is not a good recipe for a happy marriage. And that was a hard fact to face up to considering we’ve always had an effortless, cruisy and love-filled relationship.
It’s confusing you know, becoming parents you experience the MOST divine love ever. Filling up on the ecstasy that together we created and birthed a beautiful little being. OUR LOVE DID THAT.
Yet, that very same experience is what creates distance. Not by choice, no way. But survival mode kicks in. Things to do. Stuff to create. Responsibilities we never had before. Adjusting to so much change.
So after a few weeks of constant niggling, and whinging and more ‘disconnecting’ from each other than I could bare without bursting into tears I said enough.
Time for change.
One night over dinner I pulled out Gary Chapman’s ‘The Five Love Languages’. A book I’d read and adored years ago. Chris and I had taken the test inside to find out what each other’s main ‘love language was’.
I decided we need to revisit that and make a conscious effort to start speaking each other’s language.
So much had changed. What used to be my ‘language’ was no more. The same for him. We’d evolved and our needs had too.
He desired more quality time and I needed words of ‘affirmation’ (something I’d never needed before).
He wanted more one-on-one time with me to laugh and talk.
I needed to hear compassionate words of love and support, and even encouragement.
Overnight things have changed.
We are so aware. Conscious. Engaged.
We even went on a date. Woah.
We have both placed each other front and centre.
Such a small shift, such a huge impact.
So here I am re-inspired. Falling in love again. Feeling empowered that I can make a positive impact and take inspired action for more LOVE, CONNECTION and JOY.
Maybe this will inspire you to reach for the same?
love + light