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Find Your Tribe

Find Your Tribe
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It’s time to find your tribe. Find your collective, your crew. Connection is a deep soul craving that will nourish and cradle you.

This is the message my base chakra kept sending me.

Granted, my base chakra needed a lot of work after pregnancy and birth and a key element to rebuilding my base chakra was to really zone in on the areas I most felt depleted in. Or where I felt ‘lack’ or weakness.

Through meditation and self-reflection married with my understanding of what the base chakra represents I came to truly know what was needed to rebuild this vital, foundational energy centre.

Amongst the mess of my finances, career, feeling grounding, home life and structure the stand out was finding and being part of a tribe.

They say it takes a village to raise a child and I now know that to be the most on-point statement around motherhood ever. For many of us we don’t have that village vibe. You might not live close to your family. Or perhaps, like me, you do live very close but for various reasons you can’t lean on them as much as you want to. Or perhaps they don’t quite satisfy you on a soul level.

Gratefully, as I worked on rebuilding my base chakra through meditation and energy work, my base started working for me. Calling in situations, circumstances, people to guide me home to my tribe.

The importance of connection

As I’ve shared many times before, the first 3-4 months of Soleil’s life was so challenging it truly catapulted me into a different space, time, dimension. [BTW if you want to hear more about those early months of mama hood for me, head HERE to listen to my podcast interview with Amy Taylor-Kabbaz]

It was this cataclysmic, seismic shift that drew me into an isolated bubble. I wasn’t able to make it to Mother’s Group for months. My parents were away overseas for 3 months. My sisters were busy with their children and fighting virus after virus – which meant I couldn’t see them for most of last winter.

One day, I had 30 minutes to myself so I headed straight down to the beach for a walk. I spotted a mother’s group and something dragged me over to them.

Their babies looked the same age as Soleil. And despite the tears literally welling up in my eyes and jamming my throat I gingerly approached them. Now, if you know me well enough by now you’ll probably balk at the idea that I did anything ‘gingerly’… it’s not my style at all. I’m more the direct/opinionated/confident type (with a decent helping of introvert thrown into the mix). But, as described I was isolated, all out of whack energetically and in a really dark place. So gingerly, nervously, is how I approached these beautiful women.

They saw me coming. They smiled over at me.

All the while I was thinking ‘Claire, what are you doing?!’… and yet I was propelled forward, my feet moved, my voice opened and I started talking…

I mumbled something about never being able to attend Mother’s Group. I quickly shared that Soleil was a very unsettled baby but I’d love to come to the next meet-up. These women looked liked they had their shit together – a big leap from where I was in that moment. And it terrified me – comparisonitis kicked in, but yet still… I kept going.

Something greater than me with more knowing powered through me in that moment.

They were so warm. So loving. So gracious and patient. Many months later I personally thanked one of those mamas who, particularly, had been so inviting and compassionate to me. She told me that she saw how broken I was but she was impressed that I had reached out to them. That meant a lot to me – to know that she could really ‘see’ me in that moment and chose to respond from her heart.

This Mother’s Group became the beginning of a massive realisation. It was my base chakra that dragged me over to them – to give me a taste of what sisterhood felt like. To remind me that sharing experiences and connection was vital to my soul happiness. 

I did my best to attend these groups weekly and the women were (are!) all incredible, loving and straight-up good eggs. But there was something missing for me, although I never placed my finger on it.

Find Your Tribe

It wasn’t until one late winter’s day that I took Soleil out, in the ergo baby, for a walk to a local cafe. Underneath this beautiful little oasis of trees I passed by another mama carrying her hub. We smiled at each other. And just as we were about to pass each other, her beautiful bubba and my little sunbeam reached out to each other. Those little, chubby fingers stretching out wanting to grab hold of each other. They kicked and giggled. We practically did the same.

The connection was and still is real.

Myself and this other mama stood there chatting in the way that only mamas do. Hurried, excited, jumping from one thing to another in an effort to learn and absorb as much of each other as possible. It’s almost like speed-dating. 3 minutes to decide (before your babies start whinging to move on) if this woman is your type of mama.

I knew instantly – she intrigued me. She is so different to me yet so aligned. We exchanged numbers. And from that day on I bumped into her and saw her everywhere. We eventually found a groove and started catching up with mama/baby play dates.

Not long after that in late spring down at the beach with countless babies and mamas at the kids pool I found myself talking to one particular mama.

I trust my intuition implicitly and on reflection I can see again how I was sub consciously gravitating towards certain energies.

This mama is into health, wellness, spirituality. She is so generous – bringing us homemade food to share, always offering help. Not to mention her little man is the same age as Soleil and they all love each other. And this mama has such love and appreciation for all that Soleil is – it deepens the bond knowing my mama tribe connects with my baby girl.

Now here is where it gets special. Without knowing it, both these mamas that I had met separately, had also met each other and become friends. They each mentioned the other to me, saying ‘Oh you are going to love her’.

And love them I do.

These women (and a few others thrown into the mix) are my local mama tribe. These women align with my soul values. The core of who I am. We have so many differences yet there is an openness, a love that threads between us. Which means respect and mutual understanding is at the foundation of this tribe.

This tribe of mamas have become my sisters.

Our babies are growing up alongside each other. They play in the sand and the ocean together everyday. They get excited to see their friends and have come to trust their ‘aunties’.

The more I connect with this tribe the more I feel utter joy, appreciation and contentment at the season of life I am in right now. It makes being present in the now of motherhood that much easier.

Your tribe = presence + gratitude

For me, having a tribe, a collective that I am part of is the very thing that cultivates a daily sense of gratitude and presence for the season of life I am in. Be it mama hood, or business focused, or self-development/spiritual journey, or as a single woman. Whatever the stage of life you are in, when you are connecting on an authentic level with people that align with your SOUL there is such a potent feeling of acceptance and contentment. Embracing the season you are in without looking forward or backing, but being in the moment, at this point in your life without looking to change it.

Tribe Online

I have to mention here that I am blessed to have a collective of mamas that I connect with online on quite a deep and personal level. Shout-out in particular to Rachel MacDonald and Debbie Spellman. These women have held space for me in the shadows of sleep deprivation and sheer struggle. We’ve worked through so much stuff. Shared the joys. Laughed and taken the utter piss out of our ridiculous situations (baby puke, poo and toddler tactics will do that).

We’ve brainstormed, and heart stormed and often just watched the storm pass through together.

And yes, all done online. All via the inter webs and the incredible platforms and social media spaces we have on offer. I feel blessed that each day by the ocean I get to connect with a tribe of mamas that the universe guided me too. And that I have my power posse of mamas online that is always there to throw a bucketload of love, laughter and support my way (and I’m more than thrilled to do the same).

How to find your tribe

Set the intention my lovely one.

That is all I’m going to offer here… Why? Because I don’t want to hustle you to ‘force’ this. I don’t want you to go hunting for your tribe. I want it to happen for you organically, and from the heart.

So, read this post I wrote recently on the power of your intention. And then set one. From the heart – be clear about what you need from your tribe. Why do you want these people in your life?

Bring your tribe to life in your heart. See them and feel their energy. And then call it in.

I know that so many of you crave actual tips to guide you forward, so let me leave you with these three simple things to do:

  • BE where your tribe is. My mama tribe hangs at the beach, the parks, out in nature.
  • OPEN your face and heart. Smile at people and engage. It changes EVERYTHING. Be willing to comment, chat, converse.
  • Your vibe, what you put out there will attract back the same energy. Remember like attracts like. Energy flows where attention goes. So be mindful of your energy and what you are throwing out into the ether.
  • LET your intuition steer you to those people that feel right – don’t let your head or ‘the hunt’ for your tribe guide you.

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It’s time to find your tribe. Find your collective, your crew. Connection is a deep soul craving that will nourish and cradle you.

Love + light,

Claire



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