Crossing over from the head to the heart
Crossing over from the head to the heart
Over a year ago, maybe more, I had an astrology reading done by the incredible Ezzie Spencer. Ezzie did my full chart and then talked me through what she had discovered. It’s funny, at the time I found everything she said to be fully loaded and heavy with meaning, but didn’t realise what the process would be when her discoveries came into being.
Besides identifying that I am triple Aquarian, with my sun, moon and rising star seated in this fixed air sign, she also revealed something quite powerful and profound. This ‘something’ is only now coming into fruition, but looking back I can see it has been slowly brewing for years. I’ve been blindly and without direction travelling towards this something.
Ezzie pointed out that I have an astute level of understanding and a deep well of wisdom. All of this is cradled by a refined intellect and analytical mind. Ha! Gosh that sounds conceited… What that really means is that I’m all ‘in the head’! I’m a sensitive being, highly tuned in and self aware, but what comes naturally is using my mind, my intellect to ‘understand’.
I’m a thinker and used to really pride myself for it.
You with me so far? I bet many of you might resonate with this, so let me flesh it out a little more:
- Do you feel you are quick to understand BIG concepts?
- Is it easy for you to see all sides to a story/situation?
- Can you clearly ‘get’ spiritual teachings?
- Do you usually find it’s a no brainer when wrapping your head around complex people/issues/experiences?
- Can you easily deduce ways through sticky and cloudy experiences?
- Do you tend to be the voice of reason and insight amongst your family and friends?
- Is your wisdom often based on what you’ve experienced or come to learn rather than what you feel and intuit?
- Are you mostly driven and guided by your head?
- Are you often in your head – thinking and planning and stewing?
Yes? Are you with me or know someone that is just like this?
Ok, first up, to clarify: there is nothing wrong with being this way. Being a heady, ‘thinker’ type has its benefits. Switched on and clued up! If you are this way, more power to you. We need thinkers!
When Ezzie pointed this out to me she explained that my soul had lived from this heady, wise space for countless lives. So far, it has supported me just fine. But now, in this lifetime and for the first lifetime ever, I am being called to cross the ravine and make it to the other side. To move away from the head space! And what awaits me there? A life led by the heart.
A life dropped into an intuitive, feeling based space.
Over the last five years I’ve journeyed deeper into my spiritual pilgrimage and explored deeply in my work as a Mind-Body-Soul coach. This continual process of discovery has slowly brought me face to face with the limitations of living from my head. It’s also forced me many times to feel into my heart and live from there. Many times I’ve resisted – after all, it’s new and scary and hard. Living from my head is easy. I’ve done it for many lives. It seems clear cut, straightforward; though truthfully it’s the opposite!
But often I’ve not been given a choice, and my latest dalliance with feeling, living and being from my heart is one of those choice-less experiences. Becoming a mother is, I can now see, the true beginning of my traverse from the head side to the heart side. I’ve begun the journey, crossing the ravine. I know now that the last few years have been prepping me, slowly, for this forced, cataclysmic trek down deep into my feeling centre, into my soul, a trip that has been written into my soul’s story well before this body existed.
Every day, this motherhood gig requires me to check my ego and my intellect at the door. I’m asked to feel into my baby and her needs, to intuit them. I’m asked to feel into my body and be with whatever discomfort lives there in a much more potent way than before – yet also to respect and love this body more than ever, despite the fact that it’s more worn and battle torn!
I’m asked daily to let my heart be centre stage, in order to navigate from soul. I’m asked to stop and drop the ongoing mind-chatter and useless need to ‘understand’. I’m asked to be ok with not ‘getting it’ and to stay out of my head. I’m ask to give and give fully in the NOW and to do so gratefully and with joy, to feel good giving more than I thought I was capable of.
Oh it’s so easy to write those words, yet this is the most challenging spiritual assignment to date. Don’t for a second think that I’ve nailed this or that I easily can do what’s being asked of me.
Feeling. Feel. Feel it…
Do you know how to sit with what you feel and tune into it from an emotional space not an intellectual space? ‘Do you know’… That’s how I just started that question! It’s so ironic, considering we are talking about feeling, which, of itself, has nada to do with ‘knowing’…
Feeling and living from that space is so damn challenging because we can’t study it and figure it out. We simply have to throw ourselves into the firey pit of feeling over and over and over until our mind starts to get the idea and turns down its full ball volume.
This is where I am right now: being ok with not knowing what I feel, but also going there despite the struggle, as often as I can.
This means so many different things. It means, as a person, I’m changing internally and externally. It means that the future life I create will look very different in years to come, because the truths that crack through when you tune into your heart space are mammoth and hugely transformative.
So whether you are becoming a mama, or changing jobs, moving countries, breaking up, or making up, ask yourself if the decisions you are making and the way you are living is head or heart. No. Don’t ask yourself; FEEL into it instead. Your feelings are often embodied in your very flesh and bone. So if you can’t find your way into feeling, let your body being the map and navigate your way.
I very much look forward to having you join me in the journey, across the ravine into the heart.
Love and light,