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7 DAYS AND COUNTING… turning 30!

7 DAYS AND COUNTING… turning 30!
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In 7 days I turn 30! Nope, I’m not fishing for birthday wishes or presents (all welcome, though!)

I’m just reflecting…

I never really thought about turning 30. It wasn’t something that prayed on my mind, mostly because I didn’t have a vision of who I wanted to be or what I wanted to achieve by 30. Also, I don’t know what 30 ‘looks’ like anymore. I hear every now and then that I don’t look 30, but I always ask… but, what does that look like? 30 means something different today, but I guess ultimately, all that matters is what does it mean to me… or you!

Now that I am almost there I am thinking about 30 and the years that follow very differently to how I did from 19 moving into 20.

Mostly, the way I feel is excited. I finally feel like I fit into the giant puzzle that is life. I have always felt a little like a strange shaped puzzle piece that was trying to force it’s place here, there, everywhere… without every really understanding why I couldn’t fit. I don’t mean ‘fitting in’ socially. I more mean, fitting in with the world. I always questioned what my purpose is on this planet and who I really am. I was always trying to ‘find’ myself.

 

I don’t think I have the answer locked in stone, but that’s what I’ve learnt… that it’s not concrete. It can’t be… it’s life. Maybe I’m not supposed to find myself, but enjoy life as an ever changing creation. The journey, the seeking, the knowledge gains, the sharing, the passion to teach  and the desire to always learn more .. that’s how I fit in.

But for now, I do feel like I ‘fit’ a little more. I have a direction and a new way of being as I enter this new decade and I don’t feel lost and ungrounded. I feel directional. If that makes sense.

I’ve also realised something else… I wouldn’t be here, with this mind-frame and this purpose – if it wasn’t for my 20s – the tripping up, the confusion, the mistakes, the sadness, the silliness, the excess, the questions!

So i’ve decided, for each day between now and my birthday I’m going to journal about something I am grateful for from my 20s. From relationships that helped me realise what a relationship should be, to years of partying that left me burnt out and fragile – leading me to seek a healthier version of Claire to climbing the career ladder which has cultivated skills I know I’ll use forever.

I’m going to press pause. Reflect, pay my respects and then…. let out my 20s with a long exhale. And with that next inhale I’m going to feel invigorated and alive by my 30s, because I know it’s going to be so much more rewarding, fruitful, challenging, exciting and full of change!

Just how I like it. Happy birthday to me!

I’d love to hear how you feel about 30/the 30s… did it scare you, did you embrace, or was it just another number?

Signing off with an exhale.

pause. listen. live

Cx



Comment...

4 Comments to “7 DAYS AND COUNTING… turning 30!”

  1. Turning 30 was 10 years ago, at the time I was excited 30 sounded like a good age to be not 20 to young, not 40, starting to feel a little older.

    But between 30 and 40 for me I remember it being quite difficult, at Age 37 I was diagnosed with Depression, so from age 37 to 40 was quite life changing, some things for the better some things for the worse.

    So now I don't plan anything or look forward because you just don't know what is going to happen in the future

  2. I agree, and I also think how you feel when you turn 30 is about how comfortable you are with that point in your life. For me, I was in a job I enjoyed, I'd married the man I wanted to be with for the rest of my life and had my little boy, so was very content. In fact, 30 almost passed me by in a way – because of having my son I don't think I made such a fuss about it as I perhaps would have if I was single and still partying!
    Happy Birthday and enjoy the journaling 🙂 xx

  3. I love all your comments. I'm feeling very comfortable and happy. I'm not sure if the skirts are ready to drop 4 inches though…

    Thanks for reading!

    Cx

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