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An open letter to mama guilt and self-judgment

An open letter to mama guilt and self-judgment

Posted February 07, 2017

Dear totally debilitating guilt and abhorrent self-judgment, I’m going to frank here. Straight up. If there is one thing that motherhood has given me it’s the inability to sugar coat and fuss about any longer. I have something to say, so I’m going to say it – straight shooting. I am done with you, guilt. And you, judgment? Well you can go jump… off the cliff edge, off a bridge. I don’t care. As long as it’s a big enough jump so you are be well away from me. So here’s the thing, I’ve never really suffered from guilt or shame. Well, of course I’ve felt guilt and shame, but I mean only smatterings of guilt and uneventful doses of shame that we all experience – like falling flat on my face, walking UP stairs.  But to be overcome by and controlled by guilt, well it’s just (thankfully) not been my thing. But I never, ever expected for the mama guilt to be so heavy. Such a burden to carry daily. I’ve been told that from the day my little sunbeam flashed into the world in her effervescent way that I will forever be dragging behind me the guilt of a thousand lifetimes… And you know what, I’m not buying into that. Why? Because even on the worst days – those days when I accidentally knocked my babies head on the world, had a mini meltdown over the nappy change challenge and snapped at her with such intensity she actually looked scared – I’m still doing an amazing job. Guess what, so is every damn mama out there (ok maybe not every one, but that’s an entirely different letter!) Or how about those days when I’m chatting to my local mama friends and I hear that one has already enrolled her 10 month old into the best local schools, or how the other one hand makes all of her babies clothes. Or even how another mama uses cloth nappies and hand washes them all, to minimise her footprint on mama earth. Yep, even those days when I don’t feel up to scratch and I can’t compare or compete with any of the above I’m still going to choose self love and compassion. (P.s I choose meditation over nappy washing; truly sorry mama earth but hoping my higher vibrations are helping in some way?) Then there’s all the stuff I didn’t know how to do in the beginning. And all the wrong turns I made trying to figure out this little bundle of (often, not-so) joy. Did I set myself up for years of struggle because I held her and rocked her to sleep? Have I damaged her forever because I played white noise, loudly, near her little ears just so she would shut up for 5 minutes? Or what about the time I listened to a sleep consultant instead of my heart and I left you to cry (for 10 minutes)… did I damage our bond? Have I permanently caused long-term health issues by vaccinating you? Worst still, will I make the same mistakes again with round 2? Were they even mistakes? How will I ever know? Even just writing that out, dear guilt, I know it’s time to call BULLSHIT on you. Instead I choose today and every day to see my greatness as a mama -actually as a WOMAN and HUMAN BEING – and not my flaws. I choose to see what I did well and right instead of where I got lost – I learn from those mistakes, that it more than enough.  I know the good outweighs the bad. The positive overcomes the negative. For every thing I’ve missed, didn’t do, forgotten there are 10 more things I remembered, did do and achieved. No more guilt. No more judgment. You don’t have a free pass to play and terrorise my heart. Like I said, I’m done with you. We are done. And why am I breaking up with you guilt? I know you are dying to know, you insidious, malignant, festering and down-right cruel emotion. Well, if that description (of you) doesn’t answer it let me break it down a little more. You tear me down. You leave me weakened and insecure. You make me unsure of who I am and what kind of mama I want to be. You waste my time worrying and fretting when I could just get on with being the incredible mama I am. You find ways into my work, my self image, my mood, my relationships. You leave me questioning instead of trusting. But worse still, is that you are aid me in doing the one thing I do not want to do  – and that is to teach my baby girl how to live small, question herself, be insecure and lacking in self confidence. I do not want little S to think that ‘guilt and self-judgment’ is the norm and that the archetype of martyr-mama is something she should carry on. She shouldn’t. And she won’t. Because we are done – Guilt (judgment, too) and I are breaking up. Officially. I’ll meditate my way through the challenges. I’ll leave it behind as each day drawers to a close. I’ll take the lessons from those challenging moments I’ll shed the remnants of that all-pervasive, sticky and cancerous mind-crap we experience called guilt + judgment! +++ So this is my invitation. Mama or not. If you’re human then take this letter and make it your own. Time to rid yourself and this world of guilt and judgment. There are 1000 better ways in which to channel our powerful minds and thoughts. There is no anger left here. There is no hatred. It’s my own fault for ever letting guilt and self-judgment in the door. I’ve said my piece. It’s time to make peace. You go that way, I’ll go this way. I choose freedom from the struggle and call on self-love from now on. Love + light, Claire x Read more

8 Ways to REALIGN when you’re feeling lost

8 Ways to REALIGN when you’re feeling lost

Posted February 03, 2017

8 Ways to REALIGN when you’re feeling lost Gosh there is so much rattling around in my head. Are you feeling the same? Since my 35th birthday and the White Light Healing Retreat I did last weekend (OH and the divine New Moon workshop with Amy Taylor Kabbaz) there is a jungle of ideas, feelings, fears, thoughts taking up my mental white space. It’s good, sort of. I’m writing and brainstorming and getting these ideas down – there’s so much I want to do and create and share (agh, MORE time please!) And new thoughts keep coming to me; P.s some of these ideas include bringing back The 21 Days of Meditation Project – remember that goodie?! But for now… Shhhh! I’m seeing more live workshops. I’m feeling into powerful online masterclasses. I’m tuning into more words, writing, storytelling. However, and truthfully, the state of the world and the way we abuse its people and animals and mama earth has been weighing on me. Deeply. (I rewatched The Cove AND Blackfish this week – my ‘activist’ aquarian heart clearly wanted to be front and centre this week). Many tears have been shed this week.  A lot of pain has been felt. A huge disconnection and discontentment yet at the same time a massive PULL to be more IN the world. Integral to raising its vibration and participating in its mass healing. Which is why there is this bizarre jungle mess in my mind and heart. This PUSH-PULL between feeling so much pain Vs DEEP gratitude Vs feeling called to create and do my (somewhat small) part in raising the vibrations through love, consciousness and personal healing. And underneath that is my humble desire to just be a mama and hold space for my Soleil in this world. (Oh and did I mention time? Where is it? How do I get more of it? There are never enough hours in the day, are there!) ++ Scatterbrain much?! Yep… that’s how I’m feeling. So I do what I always do – and I’m sharing these with you today just incase you are feeling the same. 8 ways to realign when you’re feeling lost: 1) I reach out to my soul-sisters.  I literally ask for help. I ask for their shoulder to lean on and cry on. I express my feelings and I soak up their wisdom. My vulnerability opens me up to receiving the love, guidance and wisdom that my soul needs. But it also opens the conversation up to others who need space to express their struggles and truths too. So in essence we start to hold circle and carry each other through. It’s life changing. 2) I journal the junk out of the head.  Over and over and over. I story-tell my way through the jungle. I pull down the feelings and put them to paper. I navigate through the weeds of twisted thoughts and find insight, clarity, direction. 3) I make a plan. When it comes to creative ideas I jot them down, I feel into what i’m called to action, now and then I start noting down next steps. Know this though, I might NOT action them straight away. Sometimes I still just need to percolate in those feelings before I take the inspired action necessary 4) I meditate like a mofo. Seriously, I meditate like my sanity depends on it. Because it does, and my health too. I focus on grounding, lower chakra meditations. Or forgiveness + compassion meditations. Or love and presence. Or whatever the hell feels right, but I do it. Daily. Why? Because I need the energetic support. I need to heal. I need to still be a mama and a coach and a team leader. I still need to cook dinner and function. Life still happens despite the chaotic dance and flurry of BIG emotions that are happening. And meditation allows me to find space, to breathe and to BE. Want to get your hands on some of my meditations? Visit my SHOP to see my meditation albums. Oh and Mamas head here for your own dedicated meditation membership.  5) I move my body. I use my body as vehicle to hold, honour and then release whatever it is that must go. Lots of Kundalini Yoga Kriyas. I get my heart rate. And then I slowly, stretch and breath. Just embodying it all. 6) I trust and hold faith.  Everything passes. It all shifts and unfurls into something new. An upleveling perhaps? The light of new lessons. A burst of energy, clarity, joy. If I stay in faith, then I don’t spiral into victim-mode, or worse still FUTILITY. 7) I eat even cleaner. Although my head might say, Oh go on, EAT ALL THE COOKIES. I know my higher self and my body wants to keep it clean. So I honour that. Processed, high-sugar food actually creates an energetic and mental fog that clouds my truth, my judgement and my ability to move through the jungle with a little more ease. And that also means beautiful, powerful supplements and super foods.  8) I harness mother nature. I visit the ocean. Ground my feet into the earth. Get whipped about with invigorating ocean air. I walk through parks and take my shoes off. I burn essential oils at home. ++ I know none of this is NEW. I never promised ground-breaking (ha!) I offer this to you, though, as a gentle reminder that if you are ever lost in the fog or the jungle of your mind and you can’t make sense of it all just yet, then know you have the power to consciously support yourself! One last BONUS point: Gratitude. Fill your heart and mind with prayer and gratefulness for all that you do have. All that you can do. All that you are. From the micro to the macro. Dose up on gratitude. love + light, Claire xx Read more

Do you want to feel Golden?

Do you want to feel Golden?

Posted January 10, 2017

Feeling GOLDEN Last time I checked in with you the new year had JUST ticked over. It’s crazy how quickly we all get sucked back into the vortext of life – the busy-ness, the lists, the stressors, the plans. Life is just so FULL. (Beautifully, gratefully full) I am busily working away here in the background – new coaching programs and more. Make sure you keep reading till the end as I have something SUPER exciting coming your way soon. Thankfully the balmy, sticky summer (on this side of the hemisphere at least) is keeping me outside and in the ocean daily. Resetting on the daily. Speaking of summer and the ocean, one of my most favourite things ever is the way the sun shines on the ocean – sparkly, playful light dancing on the waves. Golden sparks of crystalline light. This light makes me smile from ear-to-ear. ++ A few years back when I did a powerful journey into my Chakra 8 I discovered the 12 essences of my soul (we all have them – they just differ from person to person). In every meditaiton session I would do, going into my Chakra 8 I would find myself in a temple FLOODED with Golden Light. It was only until discussing this with my Spiritual Mentor, Belinda Davidson that I came to understand something very important. The Golden Light is one of my 12 essences. WOW. Now, I’m not 100% certain what this actually means and how I embody it fully. OR how it differs from the White Light (it feels very different) but I do know that FEELING GOLDEN is at the centre of it. Definition; Golden Glowing vitality; radiant, radiance. Full of happiness, prosperity or vigour: golden hours; a golden era. Richly soft and smooth. Bright, metallic, lustrous FEELING GOLDEN So it shouldn’t come as a surprise when I tell you that GOLDEN is one of my core desired feelings. I’m often asking myself – how can I feel more ‘golden’ in this moment, day, week… this precious LIFE. It’s also a feeling that resides at the core of my work – as a coach, leader and guide. I want my clients and team members to feel GOLDEN to and I’ll do what I can to help them reach for that bright, inner radiance. How do we feel GOLDEN then? How do we reach for what is seemingly blindingly bright and almost impossible to grasp? (Btw, it’s not, we just have to do the consistent, loving work). This is how we do it: Regular stillness and reflection Powerful practices to realign and reingite your Mind, Body and Soul Self-study and commitment to personal growth This 2017 I have a bunch of beautiful offerings coming your way to support you in feeling GOLDEN. Right now I have a SHOP full of meditation albums and ebooks to help guide back to yourself. I have reopened my coaching schedule (which is almost FULL) Om Mama Love is supporting mamas to find the GOLD in this season of life they are in And my Roadmap to Happy Online Group Immersion is completely focused on giving you the tools to reach for your version of ‘GOLDEN’ If you are ready to feel golden I invite you to ask this question; “What do I need to feel bright, vital, radiant, happy and prosperous”… And if I can help you get there in anyway let me know! (Check out the above links, maybe something there just JUMPS out at you!) ++ 30 Days of You! Before I leave you I have one last thing (and very special thing) to share with you. I’ll be dropping into your inbox again very soon, in the next few days to share an incredible 30 Day program that will definitely help you to go for GOLD. Myself and a team of women (who I’m sure you know) have put together an amazing 30 day challenge (LOADED up with a ridiculous bundle of goodiess too) to give you a fresh new start and to realign and reignite your mind, spirit, body and soul. I’ve NEVER done anything like this before and I’m literally itching to get this out to you. So please keep a look out that – It’ll be with you VERY soon. I hope you join us for a powerful, love-filled and life-changing month. Love and (golden) light, Claire Read more

Claire Obeid

Hello there, I’m Claire

What am I about? Oh-so-much. A soul-centered and heart-driven life. Inside-out wellness. Shadow work (from the darkness comes the light!) Truth-seeking. Leaning into the joy of life.

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